S*hit happens

Yep, it sure does. For over a week now I've been dealing with what the Doctor's call "Cellulitis". Although, as far as I can tell, doesn't resemble it at all. My left ankleis swolllen and red and a bit painful. I really hate taking all the harse antibiotics. They must be killing me. I mean,already we have resistance to antibiotics in MRSA. That has been going on for years. But in the meantime, I'll stumbe along.

The Phone Rings both Ways

Have you ever had a situation where you really didn't want to deal with someone, so you just don't call and then they call you and say, I haven't heard from you.

Well I have.

All I can say is that the phone rings both ways!

Quote of the Day

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved" -- Georges Sand

A Return from Paradise

Why is it that everytime I return from a weekend in San Francisco I feel so empty. Well, I guess that's a pretty rethorical question, now that I think about it. But really! I drive down there, I see a number of old friends, which I did do this time and I come back to Tuolumne County feeling completely empty.

I know my time up here is “God’s Country” is limited. I also know I’m a time bomb waiting to explode, which is not good. And, I also know that it is very difficult to get me motivated to do things. Yes, it’s true. I would rather lay on my bed, nappping than cleaning out Dad’s closet. Although, I guess anyone would rather do that. I guess it’s just that I know a number of things I could do now to make later, or whenever easier. It’s just that I don’t.

I suppose I should make a list of everything that needs to be done and just work down it. Period. End of story, but that seems so easy. I think I would much rather procrastinate and put it off until the very last minute. My nature?

Yeah, I guess it my nature, but it might be human nature too. I can only hope so and thereby redeem myself of being quite so odd.

I don’t know. I need to figure this one out though.

Do you believe?

Well, it seems that today is Easter Sunday.

What seems fascinating to me is that children actually believe in the Easter Bunny and Christians actually believe Christ arose from the dead...that may be a bold statement for many people believe in many fantasies.

Now I feel, and have always felt for the most part, that without organized religion our world, or country, would be chaos. Religion has it's part in creating a right and wrong, what is good and what is bad or a black and white and even a gray or grey. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Many people in this world need some sort of "belief" or "guidelines" in their lives. But aren't we overdoing it just a little? Or is it by some galactic positioning that this year's Easter Sunday is a "super duper holy day!"

I say that in the trail of USA Today's article, "How Easter and Christianity undermine Atheism". USA Today went on to say, "Because aside from all the logical arguments for God's existence and all the miracles and all the truths contained in Scripture, one simple fact remains: 2,000 years ago, on that first quiet Easter Sunday morning, Christ did rise". Now mind you this article was an opinion piece, yet not labeled as such. So I would take this as actual reporting of the news. This writer has made two assumptions; that Scripture is the Holy word of God and that there was a resurrection of Christ. I suppose being an American, we are all to believe this to be fact.

In another article, the writer spoke of the Second Coming of Christ being seen on Twitter and other forms of social networking. I personally think this is a wee bit far fetched but the "Holy Bible" says, "...every eye shall see him" and I guess, if an eye is reading their tweets, then it will be interrupted with coverage of the 2nd Coming. How terrific that is. We probably won't even have to wait until the middle of the night to see it, like we will next week for the Royal Wedding. I bet it will be simultaneously broadcast in whatever time zone one lives in.

Call me cynical but I do believe we all have a higher power - it just may be called something different but I also believe tolerance is more needed in this world today, even on my part, than Easter Bunnies or re-enactments of the crucifixion being headlines as Prime Time events.

Just a thought from someone who thinks as eternity is the time between now and bedtime.

So I did something different today

Yes, it's true. I actually took some pictures of the yard and made a little video. All with my iPhone 3 and iPhoto editor. Amazing thoses Apple products are, Yes sir.

The end of Tax Year 2010

Well, it’s April 18 – and I finally get somewhat of a break. Yes, folks, tax season is over and we made it! I, quite honestly had my doubts at times, but Dad pulled through and we did it! And he pulled through with some quite complicated returns too. We did have his associate Veda here for the first of the season to fall back on if we needed to but she evaporated back to the Bay Area in mid-March.

Now mind you Home Health Care has about had it with him, but I think he’s had it with them too. Scheduling was a real issue during the early part of March. All the data entry they do and 10 minutes of physical therapy…every visit. His patience just couldn’t take it. Then there was the Nurse’s aide who came at 7:30 am to help bathe him…or should I say, bother him. It was way too early and messed up the entire day. But, I think we’re pretty much done with that now. At least I hope so.

He’s is doing much better health wise, but his legs continue to bother him – which is part CHF and his bad knee – so it’s quite an ordeal for him to get around. He is continuing to use the walker –which is a nice security, but I think I’m going to move the Dining Room table into the kitchen between the stove and the sink for all the trotting back and forth with clean and dirty dishes I’ve done.

We had a deal, I cooked, he cleaned. Well, now it’s I cook, I clean! (It’s just not fair but I’ll have to just get over it.)

It was very good for him to interact with clients and you could tell they really appreciate him, his knowledge and the care he takes with them.

Through it all, and I always try to have a project going each year, I was able to complete the remodelling of my closet, which had been an absolute nightmare. So I’m happy with that but I did let my Broker’s license slide and have 45 hours of Continuing Education to complete. I had started it in early March, but I just couldn’t handle sitting at the computer all day and then most of the evening trying to do the courses. So now maybe I have some time to get that done. Californina is so messed up. The grace period for a broker is one year. Thank you, but really.

I just realized Easter is Sunday, so I, strike that, we wish everyone a Happy Easter! We won’t be having the egg hunt this year though. We barely got the grass mowed. The exciting news is that I personally witnessed the polinization of the Bing Cherries, the Nectarine, the Frost Peaches, the Elberta’s and the Bosc pear tree. Yeah! It should provide a nice bounty around August or so.

The RING THAT TIME HEALS....

I never really thought about why I still wear my X's ring. Although, I really love it, it no longer conjures the same feelings it did.

However today, I looked at my hand and saw hope. Yes, for the first time, Hope that one day I will have another relationship even better and longer that the one for which the titanium ring I continue to wear symbolized.

It is totally amazing when we can shift our minds and remove all the essence of the old and look to the future - especially with an object. Now, maybe I should be repeating, "I am worthy, I am worthy, I am good". but now, I just look at my left hand, treasure the 6, well almost 7 years and it somehow doesn't have the same meaning it did. Amazing.

Jerry Herman wrote in probably his best song ever, from Mack and Mabel: "Time Heals Everything, Tuesday, Thursday, Time heals everything, April, August, if I'm patient, the break will end and one fine morning the hurt will end.

So make the moments fly, autumn, winter. I'll forget you by next year, some year, though it's hell that I'm going through,some Tuesday, Thursday, April, August, Autumn, Winter, next year, some year.

Time heals everything, time heals everything,...but loving you...So make the moments fly, autumn, winter, I'll forget you by next year some year, ,though it's hell that I'm going through, some Tuesday, Thursday, April, August, Autumn Winter, Next year some year, Time Heals everything, times heals everything but loving you.
My absolute favorite version is sung by the great Barbara Cook.

But we can shift our perception of things. Now the ring is a joy to look at, knowing in the future, I may just have a more meaningful relationship than the last one. It's odd, because after 3.5 years, I'm finally getting over that relationship and they say it takes half the amount of time in the relationship. So here's to the future. L'amore, l'amore! Let time continue to heal everything! Because I now that something is coming, don't know when, but it's soon and I'll catch the catch!

Well, it's about time.

Yes, finally...Dad will be coming home next week. His strength has improved by leaps and bounds, there appears to be no damage done to his thought process and It's really a miracle.

I definitely feels he's good for another 10 years now.

Bill Freeze

Betterist in: Swedish Massage

Learning to live alone

Learning to live alone. At my age no less.

It's been three decades since I've lived alone and I must say life is very different than living with someone else. Most people already know that by my age.

While Dad is still here, I've been very lucky and fortunate to have him but one day I won't. I guess this is life's way of preparing me for that day while he is still around.

The first thing I encountered was a budget. A budget!, Oy vey! I've never been one to manage my money well. With a roommate, or a relative, that is, my father there always seems to be enough around. I've never been one to be frugal either. If there was a name-brand, I'd buy it. Now I stop and look.

So not only is the house much quieter and there's less food in the refrigerator and there's less laundry to do I will have to learn this new way of life. I will walk the dog more, watch less TV. Do more in the community and more as I think of it.

This type of situation isn't new. Everyone goes through the loss of their parents. In fact, over the past few years, due to the dot com failure, many adults, previously living on their own have had to move back home. And now, as our parents become older, we are fast becoming caregivers, whether we want to or not. Sure, there are other options but for the most part, this job is not a forever job. At some point many of us will have to re-enter the work-place. In today's economy I wonder how possible that will be.

I know I can't go out and get a bartender job like I did when I was 23. Or that of an Administrative Assistant at 28. My physicality has changed. It's just the way it is. Many occupations are age appropriate. Some aren't.

So during these weeks while Dad is in rehab I have a lot to think about, that is...learning to live alone.