Loewe's in Tuolumne County
17 years ago
Showing posts with label Social. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Social. Show all posts
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Do you believe?
Well, it seems that today is Easter Sunday.
What seems fascinating to me is that children actually believe in the Easter Bunny and Christians actually believe Christ arose from the dead...that may be a bold statement for many people believe in many fantasies.
Now I feel, and have always felt for the most part, that without organized religion our world, or country, would be chaos. Religion has it's part in creating a right and wrong, what is good and what is bad or a black and white and even a gray or grey. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Many people in this world need some sort of "belief" or "guidelines" in their lives. But aren't we overdoing it just a little? Or is it by some galactic positioning that this year's Easter Sunday is a "super duper holy day!"
I say that in the trail of USA Today's article, "How Easter and Christianity undermine Atheism". USA Today went on to say, "Because aside from all the logical arguments for God's existence and all the miracles and all the truths contained in Scripture, one simple fact remains: 2,000 years ago, on that first quiet Easter Sunday morning, Christ did rise". Now mind you this article was an opinion piece, yet not labeled as such. So I would take this as actual reporting of the news. This writer has made two assumptions; that Scripture is the Holy word of God and that there was a resurrection of Christ. I suppose being an American, we are all to believe this to be fact.
In another article, the writer spoke of the Second Coming of Christ being seen on Twitter and other forms of social networking. I personally think this is a wee bit far fetched but the "Holy Bible" says, "...every eye shall see him" and I guess, if an eye is reading their tweets, then it will be interrupted with coverage of the 2nd Coming. How terrific that is. We probably won't even have to wait until the middle of the night to see it, like we will next week for the Royal Wedding. I bet it will be simultaneously broadcast in whatever time zone one lives in.
Call me cynical but I do believe we all have a higher power - it just may be called something different but I also believe tolerance is more needed in this world today, even on my part, than Easter Bunnies or re-enactments of the crucifixion being headlines as Prime Time events.
Just a thought from someone who thinks as eternity is the time between now and bedtime.
What seems fascinating to me is that children actually believe in the Easter Bunny and Christians actually believe Christ arose from the dead...that may be a bold statement for many people believe in many fantasies.
Now I feel, and have always felt for the most part, that without organized religion our world, or country, would be chaos. Religion has it's part in creating a right and wrong, what is good and what is bad or a black and white and even a gray or grey. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Many people in this world need some sort of "belief" or "guidelines" in their lives. But aren't we overdoing it just a little? Or is it by some galactic positioning that this year's Easter Sunday is a "super duper holy day!"
I say that in the trail of USA Today's article, "How Easter and Christianity undermine Atheism". USA Today went on to say, "Because aside from all the logical arguments for God's existence and all the miracles and all the truths contained in Scripture, one simple fact remains: 2,000 years ago, on that first quiet Easter Sunday morning, Christ did rise". Now mind you this article was an opinion piece, yet not labeled as such. So I would take this as actual reporting of the news. This writer has made two assumptions; that Scripture is the Holy word of God and that there was a resurrection of Christ. I suppose being an American, we are all to believe this to be fact.
In another article, the writer spoke of the Second Coming of Christ being seen on Twitter and other forms of social networking. I personally think this is a wee bit far fetched but the "Holy Bible" says, "...every eye shall see him" and I guess, if an eye is reading their tweets, then it will be interrupted with coverage of the 2nd Coming. How terrific that is. We probably won't even have to wait until the middle of the night to see it, like we will next week for the Royal Wedding. I bet it will be simultaneously broadcast in whatever time zone one lives in.
Call me cynical but I do believe we all have a higher power - it just may be called something different but I also believe tolerance is more needed in this world today, even on my part, than Easter Bunnies or re-enactments of the crucifixion being headlines as Prime Time events.
Just a thought from someone who thinks as eternity is the time between now and bedtime.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Learning to live alone
Learning to live alone. At my age no less.
It's been three decades since I've lived alone and I must say life is very different than living with someone else. Most people already know that by my age.
While Dad is still here, I've been very lucky and fortunate to have him but one day I won't. I guess this is life's way of preparing me for that day while he is still around.
The first thing I encountered was a budget. A budget!, Oy vey! I've never been one to manage my money well. With a roommate, or a relative, that is, my father there always seems to be enough around. I've never been one to be frugal either. If there was a name-brand, I'd buy it. Now I stop and look.
So not only is the house much quieter and there's less food in the refrigerator and there's less laundry to do I will have to learn this new way of life. I will walk the dog more, watch less TV. Do more in the community and more as I think of it.
This type of situation isn't new. Everyone goes through the loss of their parents. In fact, over the past few years, due to the dot com failure, many adults, previously living on their own have had to move back home. And now, as our parents become older, we are fast becoming caregivers, whether we want to or not. Sure, there are other options but for the most part, this job is not a forever job. At some point many of us will have to re-enter the work-place. In today's economy I wonder how possible that will be.
I know I can't go out and get a bartender job like I did when I was 23. Or that of an Administrative Assistant at 28. My physicality has changed. It's just the way it is. Many occupations are age appropriate. Some aren't.
So during these weeks while Dad is in rehab I have a lot to think about, that is...learning to live alone.
It's been three decades since I've lived alone and I must say life is very different than living with someone else. Most people already know that by my age.
While Dad is still here, I've been very lucky and fortunate to have him but one day I won't. I guess this is life's way of preparing me for that day while he is still around.
The first thing I encountered was a budget. A budget!, Oy vey! I've never been one to manage my money well. With a roommate, or a relative, that is, my father there always seems to be enough around. I've never been one to be frugal either. If there was a name-brand, I'd buy it. Now I stop and look.
So not only is the house much quieter and there's less food in the refrigerator and there's less laundry to do I will have to learn this new way of life. I will walk the dog more, watch less TV. Do more in the community and more as I think of it.
This type of situation isn't new. Everyone goes through the loss of their parents. In fact, over the past few years, due to the dot com failure, many adults, previously living on their own have had to move back home. And now, as our parents become older, we are fast becoming caregivers, whether we want to or not. Sure, there are other options but for the most part, this job is not a forever job. At some point many of us will have to re-enter the work-place. In today's economy I wonder how possible that will be.
I know I can't go out and get a bartender job like I did when I was 23. Or that of an Administrative Assistant at 28. My physicality has changed. It's just the way it is. Many occupations are age appropriate. Some aren't.
So during these weeks while Dad is in rehab I have a lot to think about, that is...learning to live alone.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Dear Mr. President,
I applaud you for doing something right in propelling the repeal of DADT - that is, if you had anything to do with it other than making it a campaign promise.
What I don't understand is the positioning of yourself with the GOP on the "Republican Tax Reduction Act of 2010" formerly known as "The Bush Tax Cuts".
Dropping Social Security to 4% is not acceptable. It's simply a way to phase it out. Social Security and Medicare have been a problem for years, but Medicare is really the problem. Your Health Care plan hardly addresses that. Not dealing with Estate Tax "the Death Tax" was just plain dumb - while the yield would have been minimal, but to continue drop the top 3% (which, by the way, who pay the majority of taxes is astonishing). Programs must be cut - school lunches, school programs, excessive government spending, and more.
I hope our military is bringing over enough of those poppies from Afghanistan to make up for the shortfall, if not, some of those guys in Washington need to be smoking Crack! Might give 'em some ideas they didn't have.
I applaud the House Democrats for rejecting your "deal". That, finally shows some backbone on their part. Maybe they have finally listened to the people.
In closing, thanks for the DADT. But you must keep working. Families in this country are suffering by paying too much in taxes. Our middle class is literally disappearing - it's "the Have's and the Have Nots" and that's a shame.
God Bless America
What I don't understand is the positioning of yourself with the GOP on the "Republican Tax Reduction Act of 2010" formerly known as "The Bush Tax Cuts".
Dropping Social Security to 4% is not acceptable. It's simply a way to phase it out. Social Security and Medicare have been a problem for years, but Medicare is really the problem. Your Health Care plan hardly addresses that. Not dealing with Estate Tax "the Death Tax" was just plain dumb - while the yield would have been minimal, but to continue drop the top 3% (which, by the way, who pay the majority of taxes is astonishing). Programs must be cut - school lunches, school programs, excessive government spending, and more.
I hope our military is bringing over enough of those poppies from Afghanistan to make up for the shortfall, if not, some of those guys in Washington need to be smoking Crack! Might give 'em some ideas they didn't have.
I applaud the House Democrats for rejecting your "deal". That, finally shows some backbone on their part. Maybe they have finally listened to the people.
In closing, thanks for the DADT. But you must keep working. Families in this country are suffering by paying too much in taxes. Our middle class is literally disappearing - it's "the Have's and the Have Nots" and that's a shame.
God Bless America
Saturday, November 13, 2010
My New Career
Could it be I've reached my calling? I am beginning to think that it's the case. I so enjoy doing bodywork, I can't tell you. Being that everyone it different, there is such variety and such a chance for a different kind of connection. I really enjoy it.
This week, I will have done 5 different treatments. I'm overwhelmed at the level of support I've received and even more overwhelmed that I seem to have found my flow. It's fascinating to me that in the time allocated, I'm able to do all the body parts required. Amazing.
And the availability of having space at Outside the Box, well, I can't thank Dave enough for the show of support he has given to me. Absolutely incredible. I am so blessed to know the people I know in my life.
I asked my father to calculate some projections to the end of the year and I'm head by about 60%. Amazing.
So, as long as I am good to myself, keep myself grounded, have a good chiropracter, I am completely happy.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This week, I will have done 5 different treatments. I'm overwhelmed at the level of support I've received and even more overwhelmed that I seem to have found my flow. It's fascinating to me that in the time allocated, I'm able to do all the body parts required. Amazing.
And the availability of having space at Outside the Box, well, I can't thank Dave enough for the show of support he has given to me. Absolutely incredible. I am so blessed to know the people I know in my life.
I asked my father to calculate some projections to the end of the year and I'm head by about 60%. Amazing.
So, as long as I am good to myself, keep myself grounded, have a good chiropracter, I am completely happy.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The 40th Anniversary of Pride
Amazing! 40 years since the Stonewall Riots. Wow!
I'm usually one to never miss Pride but these past few years living in Jamestown, I dare to say, I've missed a few. Back in 2002, I found a black and White photograph of the dome of the San Francisco City Hall. I purchased it and it hangs on the wall above my desk.
I reminds me of years of dancing in the streets below it. Looking up at its' grandeur and being so thankful we could be allowed to carry on this way.
Some of the best times of my life were centered around this day. I have met some of the best people and overall, had the best time.
My first Pride happened in Los Angeles. I inadvertently walked down the street (I live on N. Flores in West Hollywood) to the grocery store and there it was...my first Pride Parade. I was captivated. It was a hell of a day.
I can only hope the best for my friends in the City enjoying and celebrating the day.
I'm usually one to never miss Pride but these past few years living in Jamestown, I dare to say, I've missed a few. Back in 2002, I found a black and White photograph of the dome of the San Francisco City Hall. I purchased it and it hangs on the wall above my desk.
I reminds me of years of dancing in the streets below it. Looking up at its' grandeur and being so thankful we could be allowed to carry on this way.
Some of the best times of my life were centered around this day. I have met some of the best people and overall, had the best time.
My first Pride happened in Los Angeles. I inadvertently walked down the street (I live on N. Flores in West Hollywood) to the grocery store and there it was...my first Pride Parade. I was captivated. It was a hell of a day.
I can only hope the best for my friends in the City enjoying and celebrating the day.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Well, who would have thought...
Just finished watching the 82nd Academy Awards. I can't believe a movie I saw actually won. This never happens. I knew there was something about The Hurt Locker that was special.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Hurt Locker
Sometimes what you love changes...(Warning: Spoiler - "The Hurt Locker" - 2009, Movie)
That's the clincher in this movie and boy, what a concept. I can think about now and then 20 years ago. What I loved then was so different from what I love today. With the movie, what the character, James, loved was a dangerous game. Now how many times have I been in love with a dangerous game.
All I can say is, "Many!" And you can read whatever you want into the word game because there is a lot there to read into.
I rented the movie on iTunes and because I'm old, I fell asleep towards the end the first time so I watched it again. And, of course, I had to watch the ending one more time because I fell asleep for the 2rd time. Not that it wasn't interesting, but because about all I can take at a time is about 2 hours. (It's so hard being old.)
When I really got to see it, it really rang a bell. It was kind of really important to the story. In fact, the point.
Anyway, I guess I better change my favorite movies on my profile now. Don't you love it?
That's the clincher in this movie and boy, what a concept. I can think about now and then 20 years ago. What I loved then was so different from what I love today. With the movie, what the character, James, loved was a dangerous game. Now how many times have I been in love with a dangerous game.
All I can say is, "Many!" And you can read whatever you want into the word game because there is a lot there to read into.
I rented the movie on iTunes and because I'm old, I fell asleep towards the end the first time so I watched it again. And, of course, I had to watch the ending one more time because I fell asleep for the 2rd time. Not that it wasn't interesting, but because about all I can take at a time is about 2 hours. (It's so hard being old.)
When I really got to see it, it really rang a bell. It was kind of really important to the story. In fact, the point.
Anyway, I guess I better change my favorite movies on my profile now. Don't you love it?
Saturday, February 27, 2010
A New World!
Wow, a week has gone by and it’s absolutely amazing. By making just one little alteration in my diet, my life has changed…well, it has!
And it’s been received quite well by all I know. Tuesday was hard. I was tired and just couldn’t wake up. Until about 3 or 4 Pm, but I blew right past that. Thursday, Friday went really well. I quess having a huge deadline had a lot to do with it but everything got done and out the door.
Today, however, was a different story. The chicken I made on Wednesday (and had for dinner on Thursday and Friday nights had turned foul, literally. Needless to say, this morning I was quite sick. I finally got out of bed around 2 PM. Pulled it together only to find out I had forgotten to pay the Satellite bill and there would be no TV until Monday. Oops!
Dad is watching “Evita” now. Amazing! And I am blogging! How perfect. He’s almost to the balcony scene, where I’ll provide an intermission. I think this morning had a lot to do with not having a pressurized deadline. Which allowed my stomach to feel like barf and stay in bed.
Mom’s CAT scan went well on Thursday and showed no cancer. However, her hypoglycemic levels are in the danger zone. She has a bone scan scheduled for next week, which might tell us more. Of course, when se went to the doctor, she had an excuse for everything. God love her.
And it’s been received quite well by all I know. Tuesday was hard. I was tired and just couldn’t wake up. Until about 3 or 4 Pm, but I blew right past that. Thursday, Friday went really well. I quess having a huge deadline had a lot to do with it but everything got done and out the door.
Today, however, was a different story. The chicken I made on Wednesday (and had for dinner on Thursday and Friday nights had turned foul, literally. Needless to say, this morning I was quite sick. I finally got out of bed around 2 PM. Pulled it together only to find out I had forgotten to pay the Satellite bill and there would be no TV until Monday. Oops!
Dad is watching “Evita” now. Amazing! And I am blogging! How perfect. He’s almost to the balcony scene, where I’ll provide an intermission. I think this morning had a lot to do with not having a pressurized deadline. Which allowed my stomach to feel like barf and stay in bed.
Mom’s CAT scan went well on Thursday and showed no cancer. However, her hypoglycemic levels are in the danger zone. She has a bone scan scheduled for next week, which might tell us more. Of course, when se went to the doctor, she had an excuse for everything. God love her.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Twenty-Ten
Oh my God! It's here...Twenty-Ten! What a great name for a year. Two Thousand Nine just sounded awkward and clumsy but Twenty-Ten sounds sleek, almost sexy.
Now what will 2010 (pronounced Twenty-Ten) bring? World Peace? I doubt it. More overwhelming things, i.e. Health Insurance, increased taxes, War that the American People will have to deal with. Most likely. More criticism on President Obama? Definitely. More "dumbness" from Ms. Palin? Yup, you can give that one a shout out.
I guess, to take it to a personal level, 2010 has got to be the best year there is because it is the only year there is. Today is now. the 1st day of 2010 and tomorrow will be the 2nd day of 2010. And on and on.
Live like there's no tomorrow but plan like there's years to go. Is that the saying? Well, if not, it works for me.
Now what will 2010 (pronounced Twenty-Ten) bring? World Peace? I doubt it. More overwhelming things, i.e. Health Insurance, increased taxes, War that the American People will have to deal with. Most likely. More criticism on President Obama? Definitely. More "dumbness" from Ms. Palin? Yup, you can give that one a shout out.
I guess, to take it to a personal level, 2010 has got to be the best year there is because it is the only year there is. Today is now. the 1st day of 2010 and tomorrow will be the 2nd day of 2010. And on and on.
Live like there's no tomorrow but plan like there's years to go. Is that the saying? Well, if not, it works for me.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Getting closer...
As I sit here on a Tuesday afternoon, I ponder what life will be like once I've turned 50. Not that I'm expecting a major change, but I think I'll talk about it until my birthday and then after that never discuss my age again. A good thing, I think.
If someone asks, I'll just say, "Older...period".
If someone asks, I'll just say, "Older...period".
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Depression
Why are the holidays always so damn depressing for me? Every year it seems. I just can't figure it out. I mean, here we are...a day away from Christmas and I'm feeling like shit!
I guess a couple hours with a therapist might be in order.
I can't help but remember who is not here, who is gone, who had an impact on my life...especially the holidays. On Christmas' past and all that.
There is no question about life changing and furthermore the need to grow where life wants you to grow but really.
Fuck the turkey, fuck the shopping, fuck the crowds, fuck the gifts (not that I"m giving any) and fuck everyone else for that matter.
It might make a difference if I weren't trapped into the life I'm in. If I had someone special in my life to share it with but I'm a bit beyond my father. Playing this waiting game, if you will.
All for now.
I guess a couple hours with a therapist might be in order.
I can't help but remember who is not here, who is gone, who had an impact on my life...especially the holidays. On Christmas' past and all that.
There is no question about life changing and furthermore the need to grow where life wants you to grow but really.
Fuck the turkey, fuck the shopping, fuck the crowds, fuck the gifts (not that I"m giving any) and fuck everyone else for that matter.
It might make a difference if I weren't trapped into the life I'm in. If I had someone special in my life to share it with but I'm a bit beyond my father. Playing this waiting game, if you will.
All for now.
Monday, November 30, 2009
A Snow Job!
Have you ever felt sucker to a con job? Maybe got swept up into circumstances by people who are very well trained to do just that? Well, I just have.
Let me start at the beginning. On Monday, November 16th, I reacted to a new medication my physician gave me with a very sever skin rash. I drove myself to Prompt Care, kind of a Quickie Triage without the ER Room run by the same kind folks who operate our local hospital.
They also listened to my lungs and found I was quite congested, which I was, and provided me with an Aerosol nebulizer treatment. They told me to stop the med’s that gave me the rash but if my cough didn’t get any better I should see ER, (or my physician, for which I knew would be impossible outside of my December 2 appointment.)
On Wednesday night I went to bed kind of early for me and didn’t wake up until 3pm the next day (approx. 14 hours later). I woke feeling awful, coughing, gasping for breath, feeling lousy. My Dad coerced me into thinking that I might want to go to the hospital. From around 3 until maybe 5 or 6 PM, I stumbled around, in a daze, actually thinking I should go to see a physician. I finally found two matching shoes, grabbed headphones for my iPhone and got in the Exploder. I weaved and swerved irradically all over the road to the hospital, where, Thank God, I made it without endangering anyone’s life.
I stumbled in. Immediately was checked in, turned to be seated and was called to come in. The intern’s ran towards me, where I guess I literally collapsed.
I was laid down on this really comfortable gurny, only it was like a big settee, a deep maroon leather, with the same color drapes. The fellow on my left had cut his hand and was scheduled for surgery and muttered on aimlessly all the while the staff scurried about me. Thermometers, BP, Cap on the finger to determine the oxygen level in my blood, which, was around 83 or so. (The commencement of Oxygen). I remember someone introducing me a Dr. Amos and I was just engulfed with interns (or smooth salespeople). One offered to get me something from the cafeteria, I had no idea of the time because my watch went in my pocket for the IV drip that was started. An intern or something came back with the driest egg salad sandwich I ever tasted. Then the primary, dark haired intern asked if she could swab my nose. I asked what for? But not before I had a swab in and out of each nostril. Was it DNA? (Later, I was told it was for MRSA, which, if they had asked I would have told them I’d had multiple times years ago). (Probably the combo, MRSA/DNA was more accurate).
Then the subtle suggestions began. “Wouldn’t you feel better here tonight?” “We should really take a better look at you, you’re lungs appear very congested. I may have even been given an albuteral nebulizer treatment, it’s such a fog. (Something in the drip, perhaps?)
It was from this point on, I have no idea of what possessed me.
Firstly, I’m in the Ugliest Plastic Walled hospital run by Adventist Health, the organization that pushed behind the scenes for the closure of the county’s health facility and hospital. An organization that has taken over this community with it’s Doctor’s, nurses, specialists and senior citizens. This building is so hideous, I seriously feeling like blowing chunks when I see it. When I’ve taken my father there for blood draws, it’s like a friggin factory. The senior’s all line up, waiting for their name to be called, then get ushered into the “drawing room”, which can accommodate maybe 6-8 phlebotomist’s at once and all the senior’s know each other and chat amongst themselves. I think I even had blood taken there once to my dismay.
They use the “one big draw” procedure, where all the blood is drawn into a pint size syringe and then squirted into individual tubes. I don’t think this is even a proper procedure anymore even but it keeps the lines moving.
This is the organization I wrote letters to the editor about years ago. They, by the county’s closure of the Old General Hospital moved their vacancy factor to a much lower figure. Of course, they then had to take Medical people, all of them. And those patients are generally kept out of sight, off to the side. Recently, I wrote a blog about them, originally as a letter to the editor of our paper, which was rejected “because they didn’t want to present a positive or negative picture of any county corporate entity.” They also have the Law Enforcement Department lab processing, which I might add is quite lucrative.
Well, I must have succumb. The sweet dark haired intern whispered in my ear there was going to be a $75 co-pay, which they would happily bill me. And off I went past two or three deputies, having coffee into an elevator opening, onto a dark floor into a darker room with only a male nurse-like person, all wearing masks, and shifted into “the hospital bed”.
After being made familiar with it’s plethora of features, none of which I used other then the call button, I was questioned by the nurse like man and every answer entered into his laptop on wheels.
I drifted for awhile, asked for water, and the man nurse told me he’d have someone get me some. Later a young masked girl arrived with water. 3 am… 4 am… 5 am…, every now and then someone would come in, test the finger for oxygen and leave…with the machine beeping and blinking. On went my call light. Off went the machine. Then the IV machine. They did something, blinking, beeping. On went the call light, off with the machine. Then the oxygen machine again.. Each time the response time became considerably longer. There, out of the blue, a young Indian boy came to draw blood. He looked around for somewhere to poke and not being able to find anyplace, I asked, “For what?” He said something, I don’t remember now, but knowing my bloodwork, I knew that particular test took a couple days to run. It needed to be cultured, etc. I said, “No.!”
He of course ran out with his tail ‘tween his legs. Mainly because he couldn’t find a vein if he had to due to his lack of experience
Then breakfast, something to look forward to. I don’t know how to make an omelette shaped like a flattened football, with a flattened potato-tot, on top of a piece of the same shaped toast look less appealing. And the taste was horrific. I drank some milk.
A new nurse came in. I told her I hated it here. She asked, “the loneliness?” I agreed “that and more”. I later found out that because I answered “yes” to Fever and Night sweats meant possible TB exposure, which in turn meant “Solitary”.
Then there was a hush and “Dr. V” came in. He was at least 7’2, Indian, probably Mumbai, American educated as I detected no British accent. His name badge read his full name but he preferred to be known as the Main Doctor. He asked why I had refused blood work and told me they would have to take two points, culture them and wait.
I told him of my travel plans to see my dying mother in Colorado. He appeared sympathetic. (Although at that moment I couldn’t even conjure the thought of the preparation necessary to go, shopping, cooking for Dad, packing, driving to SF all night. Could I do it?
At that point, I lost it. I told him I had to get out of there. I told him I was leaving in two days to be with my mother, I had no time for this. This was all bullshit and to let me the hell out of there. His face shifted from a “false caring to a false disappointing look”. He again asked if I really needed to go. I solidly told him, “Yes, I did”, I said. He said he would see what he could do and left the room.
Then more of last night every now and then someone would come in a test the finger for oxygen and leave…with the machine beeping and blinking. On went my call light. Off went the machine. Then the IV machine, they gave me more antibiotics They left, then the blinking, beeping. On went the call light, off with the machine. Then the oxygen machine again.. . and on and on.
Then a lovely young Sales Rep came to me with my brand new “Nebulizer” (which I had to pay for 80/20). She showed me all the features, an on/off switch. I then asked her how I was to take this thing on an airplane. She said she knew they could fly, but thought maybe some paperwork might need to be filled out or something. I said, “Have you noticed the airline climate in which we live today?” She looked at me with a bewildered, “Huh?” I asked her how much this would cost and she quickly submitted Medicare would pay 80%. They thought of having to check in a “Nebulizer” with United Airlines, not coughing or looking sick on an airplane or be thrown off in today’s climate ran constant in my head.
Then back came the checkout nurse. More papers to sign, doctor’s orders, a prescription list.
She asked if I wanted to walk or a wheel chair. I opted for the wheel chair. I’m glad.
She wheeled my past 6 or 8 rooms of extremely elderly sick looking people, past the nurse’s station and to the elevator. (My room had a South East looking view overlooking a lot of room top to Mt. Duckwalt in the distance. I never looked out.
I am still appalled that I was in this place, this place where I promised myself I would never go.
Finally, discharge time. I drove straight home and laid down. The thought of driving back to Bertelli’s Drugs was completely out of the question for Friday. While I did find out when I called they do deliver, 24 hours notice and it was too late for today and not on the weekends.
Saturday morning I drove to Bertelli’s. $268. No, no, no! All I had wanted the night before was a strong antibiotic and some prednisone to open up the lungs. Instead, this is what I got.
My hospital pharmacist’s list read as follows:
1. Tamiflu – for the H1N1, which I had been told by them I didn’t have. $85.40
2. Levaquin 750 mg – the antibiotic. Medicare didn’t pay
so they called in a substitute - I remember having this before
but never so expensive. $250.00
3. The substitution: Avelox 400 mg./7 days. The substitute med. $ 99.00
4. Albuteral .84% $ 58.00
5. Atrovent neb. $ 28.00
6. Prednisone 10 mg./9 of them (descending 4 – 1, I altered the dosage) $ 7.20
I opted for items 3 and 6 to a cool $99.
I thankfully now realize, that had I opted to not admit myself and actually drive home, I would have been arrested as I backed my Exploder out of the parking lot or drove back down Hwy. 108. At the time, I didn’t even think of a taxi, which would have been safe.
I also now realize, I was profiled. Under 50 (just), Income (disability, but income), Insured). The perfect target. I could pay. And pay, I’m sure I will. I felt so ill on Friday having lost time in preparing for my trip, that is: grocery shopping and meals for my father, making sure he had enough food in the house and his needs were taken care of, I knew that with only Saturday afternoon, I could only cancel my trip to Denver, thus saving the Airline Ticket value for future use.
Quite interestingly enough, my father, who had been sick (I think I actually caught it from him), wasn’t getting better. On Monday, the 23rd, we made a Tuesday appointment at his VA Clinic. His diagnosis: Pneumonia. Medication: A hand held Albuteral Nubulizer (with more coming in the mail) and Amoxicillin 500mg/10 days Cost: Under $10
So…both of us have been diagnosed with Pneunomia, and look at the difference in treatment.
I also wonder whether the nebulizer treatment I received three days earlier at the Prompt Care used new tubes. They did mention I had some sort of fungus growing cultured from my lungs. What is the normal incubation time?
Tomorrow, Monday, December 1st I will look into returning the Nebulizer, after all, it wasn’t used and why charge an already stretched Medicare. I will also go to SRMC and request all records relating to my overnight sojurn: Physician’s ER notes, X-Ray’s, Lab Work. Only because I was told my physician did not have hospital priviledges and I’ll need to take this to him.
This total cost is yet to be known, but
I do know it cost me a precious week with my mother in Denver, which is the largest price I will ever pay. More later…I promise.
It is also interesting to note that if you Google SRMC 95370, you get an advertisement on "How to Become a Certified Nurse"
at, of all places, SRMC - Sonora.
Let me start at the beginning. On Monday, November 16th, I reacted to a new medication my physician gave me with a very sever skin rash. I drove myself to Prompt Care, kind of a Quickie Triage without the ER Room run by the same kind folks who operate our local hospital.
They also listened to my lungs and found I was quite congested, which I was, and provided me with an Aerosol nebulizer treatment. They told me to stop the med’s that gave me the rash but if my cough didn’t get any better I should see ER, (or my physician, for which I knew would be impossible outside of my December 2 appointment.)
On Wednesday night I went to bed kind of early for me and didn’t wake up until 3pm the next day (approx. 14 hours later). I woke feeling awful, coughing, gasping for breath, feeling lousy. My Dad coerced me into thinking that I might want to go to the hospital. From around 3 until maybe 5 or 6 PM, I stumbled around, in a daze, actually thinking I should go to see a physician. I finally found two matching shoes, grabbed headphones for my iPhone and got in the Exploder. I weaved and swerved irradically all over the road to the hospital, where, Thank God, I made it without endangering anyone’s life.
I stumbled in. Immediately was checked in, turned to be seated and was called to come in. The intern’s ran towards me, where I guess I literally collapsed.
I was laid down on this really comfortable gurny, only it was like a big settee, a deep maroon leather, with the same color drapes. The fellow on my left had cut his hand and was scheduled for surgery and muttered on aimlessly all the while the staff scurried about me. Thermometers, BP, Cap on the finger to determine the oxygen level in my blood, which, was around 83 or so. (The commencement of Oxygen). I remember someone introducing me a Dr. Amos and I was just engulfed with interns (or smooth salespeople). One offered to get me something from the cafeteria, I had no idea of the time because my watch went in my pocket for the IV drip that was started. An intern or something came back with the driest egg salad sandwich I ever tasted. Then the primary, dark haired intern asked if she could swab my nose. I asked what for? But not before I had a swab in and out of each nostril. Was it DNA? (Later, I was told it was for MRSA, which, if they had asked I would have told them I’d had multiple times years ago). (Probably the combo, MRSA/DNA was more accurate).
Then the subtle suggestions began. “Wouldn’t you feel better here tonight?” “We should really take a better look at you, you’re lungs appear very congested. I may have even been given an albuteral nebulizer treatment, it’s such a fog. (Something in the drip, perhaps?)
It was from this point on, I have no idea of what possessed me.
Firstly, I’m in the Ugliest Plastic Walled hospital run by Adventist Health, the organization that pushed behind the scenes for the closure of the county’s health facility and hospital. An organization that has taken over this community with it’s Doctor’s, nurses, specialists and senior citizens. This building is so hideous, I seriously feeling like blowing chunks when I see it. When I’ve taken my father there for blood draws, it’s like a friggin factory. The senior’s all line up, waiting for their name to be called, then get ushered into the “drawing room”, which can accommodate maybe 6-8 phlebotomist’s at once and all the senior’s know each other and chat amongst themselves. I think I even had blood taken there once to my dismay.
They use the “one big draw” procedure, where all the blood is drawn into a pint size syringe and then squirted into individual tubes. I don’t think this is even a proper procedure anymore even but it keeps the lines moving.
This is the organization I wrote letters to the editor about years ago. They, by the county’s closure of the Old General Hospital moved their vacancy factor to a much lower figure. Of course, they then had to take Medical people, all of them. And those patients are generally kept out of sight, off to the side. Recently, I wrote a blog about them, originally as a letter to the editor of our paper, which was rejected “because they didn’t want to present a positive or negative picture of any county corporate entity.” They also have the Law Enforcement Department lab processing, which I might add is quite lucrative.
Well, I must have succumb. The sweet dark haired intern whispered in my ear there was going to be a $75 co-pay, which they would happily bill me. And off I went past two or three deputies, having coffee into an elevator opening, onto a dark floor into a darker room with only a male nurse-like person, all wearing masks, and shifted into “the hospital bed”.
After being made familiar with it’s plethora of features, none of which I used other then the call button, I was questioned by the nurse like man and every answer entered into his laptop on wheels.
I drifted for awhile, asked for water, and the man nurse told me he’d have someone get me some. Later a young masked girl arrived with water. 3 am… 4 am… 5 am…, every now and then someone would come in, test the finger for oxygen and leave…with the machine beeping and blinking. On went my call light. Off went the machine. Then the IV machine. They did something, blinking, beeping. On went the call light, off with the machine. Then the oxygen machine again.. Each time the response time became considerably longer. There, out of the blue, a young Indian boy came to draw blood. He looked around for somewhere to poke and not being able to find anyplace, I asked, “For what?” He said something, I don’t remember now, but knowing my bloodwork, I knew that particular test took a couple days to run. It needed to be cultured, etc. I said, “No.!”
He of course ran out with his tail ‘tween his legs. Mainly because he couldn’t find a vein if he had to due to his lack of experience
Then breakfast, something to look forward to. I don’t know how to make an omelette shaped like a flattened football, with a flattened potato-tot, on top of a piece of the same shaped toast look less appealing. And the taste was horrific. I drank some milk.
A new nurse came in. I told her I hated it here. She asked, “the loneliness?” I agreed “that and more”. I later found out that because I answered “yes” to Fever and Night sweats meant possible TB exposure, which in turn meant “Solitary”.
Then there was a hush and “Dr. V” came in. He was at least 7’2, Indian, probably Mumbai, American educated as I detected no British accent. His name badge read his full name but he preferred to be known as the Main Doctor. He asked why I had refused blood work and told me they would have to take two points, culture them and wait.
I told him of my travel plans to see my dying mother in Colorado. He appeared sympathetic. (Although at that moment I couldn’t even conjure the thought of the preparation necessary to go, shopping, cooking for Dad, packing, driving to SF all night. Could I do it?
At that point, I lost it. I told him I had to get out of there. I told him I was leaving in two days to be with my mother, I had no time for this. This was all bullshit and to let me the hell out of there. His face shifted from a “false caring to a false disappointing look”. He again asked if I really needed to go. I solidly told him, “Yes, I did”, I said. He said he would see what he could do and left the room.
Then more of last night every now and then someone would come in a test the finger for oxygen and leave…with the machine beeping and blinking. On went my call light. Off went the machine. Then the IV machine, they gave me more antibiotics They left, then the blinking, beeping. On went the call light, off with the machine. Then the oxygen machine again.. . and on and on.
Then a lovely young Sales Rep came to me with my brand new “Nebulizer” (which I had to pay for 80/20). She showed me all the features, an on/off switch. I then asked her how I was to take this thing on an airplane. She said she knew they could fly, but thought maybe some paperwork might need to be filled out or something. I said, “Have you noticed the airline climate in which we live today?” She looked at me with a bewildered, “Huh?” I asked her how much this would cost and she quickly submitted Medicare would pay 80%. They thought of having to check in a “Nebulizer” with United Airlines, not coughing or looking sick on an airplane or be thrown off in today’s climate ran constant in my head.
Then back came the checkout nurse. More papers to sign, doctor’s orders, a prescription list.
She asked if I wanted to walk or a wheel chair. I opted for the wheel chair. I’m glad.
She wheeled my past 6 or 8 rooms of extremely elderly sick looking people, past the nurse’s station and to the elevator. (My room had a South East looking view overlooking a lot of room top to Mt. Duckwalt in the distance. I never looked out.
I am still appalled that I was in this place, this place where I promised myself I would never go.
Finally, discharge time. I drove straight home and laid down. The thought of driving back to Bertelli’s Drugs was completely out of the question for Friday. While I did find out when I called they do deliver, 24 hours notice and it was too late for today and not on the weekends.
Saturday morning I drove to Bertelli’s. $268. No, no, no! All I had wanted the night before was a strong antibiotic and some prednisone to open up the lungs. Instead, this is what I got.
My hospital pharmacist’s list read as follows:
1. Tamiflu – for the H1N1, which I had been told by them I didn’t have. $85.40
2. Levaquin 750 mg – the antibiotic. Medicare didn’t pay
so they called in a substitute - I remember having this before
but never so expensive. $250.00
3. The substitution: Avelox 400 mg./7 days. The substitute med. $ 99.00
4. Albuteral .84% $ 58.00
5. Atrovent neb. $ 28.00
6. Prednisone 10 mg./9 of them (descending 4 – 1, I altered the dosage) $ 7.20
I opted for items 3 and 6 to a cool $99.
I thankfully now realize, that had I opted to not admit myself and actually drive home, I would have been arrested as I backed my Exploder out of the parking lot or drove back down Hwy. 108. At the time, I didn’t even think of a taxi, which would have been safe.
I also now realize, I was profiled. Under 50 (just), Income (disability, but income), Insured). The perfect target. I could pay. And pay, I’m sure I will. I felt so ill on Friday having lost time in preparing for my trip, that is: grocery shopping and meals for my father, making sure he had enough food in the house and his needs were taken care of, I knew that with only Saturday afternoon, I could only cancel my trip to Denver, thus saving the Airline Ticket value for future use.
Quite interestingly enough, my father, who had been sick (I think I actually caught it from him), wasn’t getting better. On Monday, the 23rd, we made a Tuesday appointment at his VA Clinic. His diagnosis: Pneumonia. Medication: A hand held Albuteral Nubulizer (with more coming in the mail) and Amoxicillin 500mg/10 days Cost: Under $10
So…both of us have been diagnosed with Pneunomia, and look at the difference in treatment.
I also wonder whether the nebulizer treatment I received three days earlier at the Prompt Care used new tubes. They did mention I had some sort of fungus growing cultured from my lungs. What is the normal incubation time?
Tomorrow, Monday, December 1st I will look into returning the Nebulizer, after all, it wasn’t used and why charge an already stretched Medicare. I will also go to SRMC and request all records relating to my overnight sojurn: Physician’s ER notes, X-Ray’s, Lab Work. Only because I was told my physician did not have hospital priviledges and I’ll need to take this to him.
This total cost is yet to be known, but
I do know it cost me a precious week with my mother in Denver, which is the largest price I will ever pay. More later…I promise.
It is also interesting to note that if you Google SRMC 95370, you get an advertisement on "How to Become a Certified Nurse"
at, of all places, SRMC - Sonora.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Death 101
Sometimes it’s just too hard to face the reality of death. I think we instinctively, ultimately know, but just can’t bring ourselves to accept it. I think it’s our nature. It’s a very difficult thing, letting go. But it is something we must do to be at peace with ourselves. And each and every one of our processes is different.
For some of us, it’s easy. Others, it takes time. We must literally watch with our own eyes the physical deterioration in our loved ones. Sad as it may be, we can’t bring ourselves to give up hope. Hope there can be an answer from a doctor telling us just how much time we have. Hope that someone can tell us when our loved one will go and, of course, hope that it doesn’t happen.
While trying not to be pessimistic, I have always felt our loved ones won’t go until we are ready to let them go. For whatever reason, we must be mentally and emotionally ready. It’s almost like giving them permission to be at peace, which in turn comes from us being at peace with ourselves enough to give that permission.
People who are dying hold on for many different reasons. Maybe a daughter has some forgiving to do. Maybe a son needs to say thank you. Maybe a mother needs to tell her children, no matter what, she’ll always be with them. A variety of different reasons as is a variety of different circumstances.
In my world, I do know, well at least hope that in the next life we’ll see and feel their love again. I know I continue to feel the love of my loved ones who have passed in many different ways at least once a day.
For some of us, it’s easy. Others, it takes time. We must literally watch with our own eyes the physical deterioration in our loved ones. Sad as it may be, we can’t bring ourselves to give up hope. Hope there can be an answer from a doctor telling us just how much time we have. Hope that someone can tell us when our loved one will go and, of course, hope that it doesn’t happen.
While trying not to be pessimistic, I have always felt our loved ones won’t go until we are ready to let them go. For whatever reason, we must be mentally and emotionally ready. It’s almost like giving them permission to be at peace, which in turn comes from us being at peace with ourselves enough to give that permission.
People who are dying hold on for many different reasons. Maybe a daughter has some forgiving to do. Maybe a son needs to say thank you. Maybe a mother needs to tell her children, no matter what, she’ll always be with them. A variety of different reasons as is a variety of different circumstances.
In my world, I do know, well at least hope that in the next life we’ll see and feel their love again. I know I continue to feel the love of my loved ones who have passed in many different ways at least once a day.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
A Surprise Visitor
So yesterday afternoon, around 4pm, my father told me someone was at the front door asking for me. I wasn't expecting anyone and I knew it must be someone respectable because all my trashy friends use the side door.
I opened the door and there she was. Politely, I asked who she was. It was Judith. My birthmother's high school girlfriend when she was pregnant living in Tuolumne. I hadn't spoken to her is a couple years. I invited her in. Introduced her to my father and we sat down at the dining room table and had a lovely visit. (Luckily, on Sunday, I made an Apple Upside Down cake, so I cut some slices and brewed some tea.
It seems she had driven from Carson City over the "harrowing" Sonora Pass and was on her way to visit her brother in Oakdale. She had swung by Tuolumne looking for her old "homestead".
I was a very pleasant visit. I had felt Judith held me hostage a couple of years ago by not telling me the location of her "homestead". Apparently, she didn't know as it never had an address.
We talked of LindaMom and my visit in May and before I knew it, she was off.
An unlikely, but pleasant visit on a Tuesday. Thank God for upside down apples on Sunday.
I opened the door and there she was. Politely, I asked who she was. It was Judith. My birthmother's high school girlfriend when she was pregnant living in Tuolumne. I hadn't spoken to her is a couple years. I invited her in. Introduced her to my father and we sat down at the dining room table and had a lovely visit. (Luckily, on Sunday, I made an Apple Upside Down cake, so I cut some slices and brewed some tea.
It seems she had driven from Carson City over the "harrowing" Sonora Pass and was on her way to visit her brother in Oakdale. She had swung by Tuolumne looking for her old "homestead".
I was a very pleasant visit. I had felt Judith held me hostage a couple of years ago by not telling me the location of her "homestead". Apparently, she didn't know as it never had an address.
We talked of LindaMom and my visit in May and before I knew it, she was off.
An unlikely, but pleasant visit on a Tuesday. Thank God for upside down apples on Sunday.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Cameron Diaz
One of my favorite shows on these seasons is the Bill Maher show. Earlier tonight, Bill had Cameron Diaz on. She was fascinating, of course. In conversation of herself she said something like...
(This is a botched paraphrase from Cameron Diaz’s interview with Bill Maher with my thoughts mixed in. How true it is.
When you come into a relationship another person that person arranges into their head the person you are. People are much more complex than that. We grow, we change, we metamorph into something else. A Person cannot be boxed into what another person arranges in their head for them. It’s impossible to fulfill. Impossible for either person to grow into someone else…which is nature’s way in growing older.
I really really like the concept of this thought. Think about it. I mean, dwell on it for awhile. Just dwell.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Facebook!!! Yeah baby....
Whew, have I been inundated. I somehow got invited on and signed up. Well, I haven't stopped since. 22 old friends == New connections, old high school friends. What an incredible resource.
It's absolutely a boost to my morale to know that there are people out there who knew, know and still love me. Warm Fuzzies galore.
It's also nice to share what has been going on with me over the past 18 years with some people.
Now, is this the Facebook that our glorious GOP wants to eliminate because of the sinfulness? Can't believe it!
BTW!!!
Happy Gay Pride Los Angeles!
It's absolutely a boost to my morale to know that there are people out there who knew, know and still love me. Warm Fuzzies galore.
It's also nice to share what has been going on with me over the past 18 years with some people.
Now, is this the Facebook that our glorious GOP wants to eliminate because of the sinfulness? Can't believe it!
BTW!!!
Happy Gay Pride Los Angeles!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Springtime
It’s funny, when you have little to look forward to, it’s wonderful to look back and be thankful that your life was good. Or a least you had a good time in life.
As I sit some 121 miles from where I want to be the social isolation has literally put me in my own little world. I don’t know the fashion, I don’t know where the hot places are and most of all, I have no one to share my thoughts with. Oh I wish for a Café Flore in Sonora. Where onetime, I would sit for hours with friends talking about nothing but just having the feeling of community.
I remember the walks into the Castro my friend and I would take around 4 in the afternoons on Saturdays and Sunday’s. They seem like lazy days now but then they were so full of drama. We strolled along, we held hands. We were playful. We had a good time and the people who saw us knew we had a special bond.
The more the isolation surrounds me it’s easy to see why people just “settle” for someone else. Just because instinctively, we know the danger of being alone in our later years. Not even about having a legacy. Just about being 45+ and having someone to share insignificant things with.
Music takes me far away to a land I where I don’t feel alone. I place where I can sing better than anyone else. Where I am invigorated by the music; the swells, the harmonies; the alliteration. Thank God for music and the wonderful means of expression it brings.
As I sit some 121 miles from where I want to be the social isolation has literally put me in my own little world. I don’t know the fashion, I don’t know where the hot places are and most of all, I have no one to share my thoughts with. Oh I wish for a Café Flore in Sonora. Where onetime, I would sit for hours with friends talking about nothing but just having the feeling of community.
I remember the walks into the Castro my friend and I would take around 4 in the afternoons on Saturdays and Sunday’s. They seem like lazy days now but then they were so full of drama. We strolled along, we held hands. We were playful. We had a good time and the people who saw us knew we had a special bond.
The more the isolation surrounds me it’s easy to see why people just “settle” for someone else. Just because instinctively, we know the danger of being alone in our later years. Not even about having a legacy. Just about being 45+ and having someone to share insignificant things with.
Music takes me far away to a land I where I don’t feel alone. I place where I can sing better than anyone else. Where I am invigorated by the music; the swells, the harmonies; the alliteration. Thank God for music and the wonderful means of expression it brings.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Animal Control
An animal was put down today. And while the owner is angry and sad and has lost a friend, this animal spent it’s life grubbing for food, cowering from logs hurled in the air and scratching severe flea infestations. This dog fought for every bit of food he got while holding up his strong yet boney frame. This dog was a companion to one. This dog was never taught to “down” or “stay” only to “get it”. While It was the third notable attack that brought it’s demise, this animal was encouraged to go after squirrels and for the most part, I think viewed small dogs as squirrels or small game. Surprisingly, the owner never expressed remorse for the victims it thrashed. This animal was taught to curiously defend his Master, no matter what.
It is a fine line we endeavor to define. One of humanity and civility. Of care for our humanity we must never lose sight of. For It separates us from other creatures yet nevertheless deepens the care in which we must take of them. We choose to tame our charge with respect for their anmal lives. Our humanity shines through.
It is a fine line we endeavor to define. One of humanity and civility. Of care for our humanity we must never lose sight of. For It separates us from other creatures yet nevertheless deepens the care in which we must take of them. We choose to tame our charge with respect for their anmal lives. Our humanity shines through.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
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